


Last Chance

by Nikky_the_writer



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 14:20:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16874478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikky_the_writer/pseuds/Nikky_the_writer
Summary: When Reader finished high school she was diagnosed with early stage of ovarian cancer. She put everything on hold to have a baby before it was too late, so she took a sperm donor. Now years later said sperm donor wants to meet his daughter and Reader is against it as she doesn’t know him, to her he was only a picture on the paper.- AUWarnings: cursing, talks about ovarian cancer and surgery





	1. Chapter 1

When you were little and when your father left, your mother told you that no matter how hard you cried that he won’t come back. She told you that nobody should try to change past and the bad news that you get should never hold you back, she told you that even before you were born life was already fixed for you, not in a simple way, but as a spider’s web. She told you that no matter what happened you will always come to where you need to be and that at that time you won’t understand it, but one day you will.

Your mother at such a young age taught you that you should never cry over wasted opportunities, but move towards new ones, and that is how you tried to live your life. However, some things that happen along away can break the fibers of the spider’s web and can leave you broken and crying and it happened to you.

* * *

You came from work just ten minutes ago and in that short time frame you quickly showered and dressed in some comfy clothes before you walked into your daughter’s room where she was sleeping while your mother watched her from the swinging chair beside the crib. Your daughter was a little over one year old and was growing every day and not a day went by that you weren’t grateful for having her in your life. Although she was planned and you wanted to have her, the whole concept of having a child was unthinkable to you, at least until you found out that even the possibility could be taken from you.

“Hi,” you whispered before placing your hand on your mother’s shoulder.

“I didn’t even hear you girls come home,” she said before looking at her watch as she had to get ready to meet her clients soon.

“We are as quiet as a mouse,” you said grinning.

“I wished that she is too,” she said smiling and you playfully hit her shoulder before approaching the crib.

Your daughter was sleeping placed on her back while a little bubble of saliva was forming against her lips. Just watching her filled your heart with joy. That little girl changed your life and helped you going through hard things in your life.

You were about to ask your mother when was the last time she ate, but before you could you heard the doorbell. You were about to go, but your mother assured you that your sister will get it as she knew that you probably missed your baby. 

* * *

Your sister was just starting to dry her hair when she heard the bell. Now, the towel was abandoned around her neck while her wet hair was partially sticking to her face. She guessed that it was probably one of her mother’s friends, but when she opened the doors she was confused.

A young man, probably in his early or mid-twenties was standing on the other side. She looked at him suspiciously as she knew that you were too busy to date or to even have friends because your baby was your whole world, and her on other hand doesn’t remember ever meeting him. He was handsome; his eyes to her were the most attractive feature on him even more than his sharp jaw, but she couldn’t place him, however, something about him was familiar. She was a bit lost in the thought not even noticing that he was talking, but she was back from her thoughts when he cleared his throat to get her attention.

“I’m sorry, but can you repeat what you just said?” she asked as she took her time to observe him. And her conclusion about him, well it was still in making as she couldn’t pinpoint what troubled her.

“I..I said that…” he stopped himself as if he was having troubles to form his sentence. “I’m the father of your child,” he said nervously before swallowing the lump in his throat.

His statement made her laugh hard and she watched him as he was crazy before saying: “I have never given birth to a child, or to an alien, or whatever. You really have a wrong woman here; you probably missed the number of the house. My neighbor just gave birth,” she trailed off, but when she looked again at his eyes something finally clicked. “So, yeah,” she just said before quickly closing the doors. She let herself to lean against them before cursing as she made a connection. “Fuck, fuck,” she firstly said quietly and as she repeated the word it only got louder. She wasn’t stupid she knew who he was, she didn’t know his name, but she knew and suddenly there was an urge inside her to step inside the nursery where only you were now with the baby in your arms.

“Was it mom’s friend’,” you said word friend while making a quotation sign with your free hand. As you both were aware that they weren’t just friends.

“No, it was actually the wrong house, so,” she said quickly before making a grimace to make her niece laugh.

A moment ago you were served an orange envelope and your fingers start to shake as you knew that you never did something wrong to be served something legal. A million thoughts were going through your head as you were ripping the envelope, you even had to sit down on your sofa before pulling the white paper out. After unfolding it while your fingers were still shaking you started reading it and after reading the name there was only one thought on your mind: ‘Who the fuck is Ivar Ragnarsson?’

As fast you could you open your laptop searching his name; there weren’t any social media. But there was a site connected with him, something about architecture. After clicking the link you found out that he was an architect and there was even a picture of him, and to you, it looked familiar, and you couldn’t place it. It was as if you knew who he was but just couldn’t find a connection. However, when you finally read the whole letter you screamed from frustration as it was from him about his parental rights and then you finally placed him. You literally saw his picture only once when you actually chose him to be your donor and never after. Luckily your daughter was at the moment out with your sister so you had enough time to search for his address; of course, the one of his workplace as you weren’t crazy enough to knock at stranger’s door alone.

* * *

You were quick to arrive at the building where he worked and when the elevator stopped at his floor you were already filled with rage. The floor was enormous and there were so many doors that you weren’t sure if you will find his office before sundown and it was only 10 am. After a while of you wandering around a woman approached you and asked you if you were lost and after you told her who you were looking for she gestured you towards the doors on your right at the end of the hallway. You didn’t even thank her as you just wanted to get over with this and when you start walking there she tried to stop you saying that he was in the meeting and you didn’t care.

Before she could stop you, you already opened the door without knocking and ready to kill the son of a bitch that decided to threaten you with something that has nothing to do with him. There were three men in the grand office with windows overlooking the city and you didn’t even glance towards it. Your eyes were focused on Ivar Ragnarsson who was sitting with his back facing the window and you didn’t waste any more time as you wanted to spend your time with your daughter before going to work so you immediately start yelling at him.

“What the fuck is this?” you threw the letter on his desk and he just stared at it.

“I just want to meet her…” Ivar was actually startled as he didn’t expect from you to be this way. He, till this moment, thought that you were actually the woman that opened him the doors as he only had your description and your name and there was nothing about you online. And now as he was looking at you he could say that you were much younger than he thought that the mother of his baby will be and you were much fiercer and it slightly reminded him on himself when he would get mad.

“No, do you understand that? I’m saying no, so stop that, alright?” you quickly said standing a few feet away from the glass table while your hands were crossed below your breasts.

“I have right t-” Ivar actually for the first time got to experience how was it to be interrupted when trying to speak as everyone usually stays out of his way and are scared of him and his temper. But somehow he was glad to see that you cared that much because deep inside he was assure that he will be punished with some hellish woman that would just want his money and wouldn’t care about the baby after she gets the money. Looking at you, you were nothing that he ever thought you would be. And although it sounded stupid and slightly strange as it didn’t go into his advantage, he was glad to see you standing up for yourself and for your child.

“No, you don’t. You have no rights here and I wanted it that way.” You said now with a bit calmer voice but still annoyed because you were sure that anybody who goes to the sperm bank knows that it’s anonymous and that they are losing their rights of whatever they leave there.

“Should I call security,” the woman finally asked while standing at the door, but she quickly left closing it behind after Ivar gestured for her to leave.

“That would be a great continuation to our start, right?” you laughed bitterly before dramatically stopping and stepping closer to his table. “I’m serious; I will get a restraining order.”

“You can’t do that,” whatever Ivar thought till this moment made him somehow relieved of who you were, but this threat made him scared. He didn’t even think of the possibility of getting rejected. He did think that the mother of the baby wouldn’t want him, but he was sure that she would let him be with his child as he was ready to give her money, and it was even written in the letter a large amount that he would pay every month as alimony.

“Do what? You signed the papers that day, you made sure that you have nothing to do with it, so fuck off.”

“I’m sorry for that,” he gestured towards the letter deciding to ignore your hostility; he wasn’t really experienced with this much of resistance from the other side, not even in his contract negotiations. “But I couldn’t really get your attention in any other way, I c-” before he could explain that he came to your house and that he thought that you recognized him you already cut him off.

“Really, do normal people don’t know how to knock on the fucking door, without threatening?” you said while faking a smile.

“Is that what you just did?” one of the two men asked not aware of the situation as he never was with his younger brother.

“Touché,” you said glancing towards the blond man before turning back to Ivar. “Well, it seems that you all think that is funny? You love to laugh, right? So then you can all laugh at the fact that if I ever see you again Mr. Ragnarson I will request a restraining order for both of us.”

“Please don’t I just wan-”

“No, I don’t care what you want, Mr. Ragnarson,” you said again not caring about his wishes. You couldn’t understand why a guy like him would be so desperate in trying to meet your daughter.

“It’s Ivar,” he said silently, but aware that you will hear him.

“I won’t call you by your name because that would mean that this wasn’t only business and I don’t want to know you, so I will stick to your last name.” You explained before stepping away you were ready to go as he just silently stared at his lap, but before you left you gestured towards the letter saying: “Make that go away.”


	2. Chapter 2

Since you got home a week ago from the office of the man that was trying to mess with your life you thought about going to the sperm bank. You wanted to demand to know how he found out about you as it was anonymous and a sperm donor doesn’t get contacted if they use his sperm and also has no parental rights. There was a possibility that if somebody else was in your place that they would sue the sperm bank, but you only wanted to move past it, however, it seemed that that man didn’t. The first letter that came from him you threw away without reading it and then the second came at it went that way for more than a month. 

What angered you the most was the new feeling of fear setting in your body as you were sure that somehow he will take your daughter away from you. You informed yourself about him and his family and you knew that anyone would rather give your daughter to them, not because they could provide her a safe and loving home, but because they could provide her home three times bigger than yours and that fear was what made you do risky and a stupid decision three days ago. You finally wrote him back without reading any of his letters and you asked this time politely to leave you and your family alone or that you would report him for harassment. You did it that day as you calculated for him to get that letter at the time when you would already get from the hospital as you needed time to recover from your surgery and you wished that he would leave you alone, but you were wrong. Because of your letter, he came knocking at your door just a day after you came from the hospital while you should have stayed at least for five days you stayed only for two in fear that in meantime your daughter would be taken.

* * *

You were lying in your bed trying to get rest as you weren’t even supposed to be home, but you assured your doctor that you will be alright, you have been already rescheduling the surgery too many times. You told your doctor that you will take short walks around the house and that you will wear your socks to prevent blood clots and take your pain medications and you did all of that. However you could already tell that something was wrong as you woke up with a slight fever, you didn’t even go see your daughter as you didn’t want for her to catch anything and that was mostly why she was earlier at the park with your sister and not you. But as your sister had to go to work and your mother wasn’t home yet your daughter stayed with you in her crib.

Your bed rest didn’t last long as the sudden knocking forced you on your feet. You weren’t really stable as you walked helping yourself with the light blue wall in the hallway. Before you even remembered to look at who was at the door you opened them and you wished you didn’t. You instantly pulled your sweater closer to your body and hugged it tightly as if it was the only thing keeping you straight while you kept the baby monitor close to yourself.

“What do you want?” you asked quickly as you looked away from him. Your voice came out husky as your throat was dried as well as your lips because you forgot to stay hydrated this morning. Aware that he saw how you looked you still lowered your head looking at his shoes which actually weren’t as bad looking as you thought they would be.

“Are you alright?” he asked observing you. The person he saw before him didn’t look like the one that stormed into his office a while ago. You looked vulnerable and he had a sudden urge to comfort you and somehow he guessed that it’s how his family members see him when he has troubles with his crutches.

“Never better,” you said sarcastically not even sparing him a glance before your eyes wander to the man who was standing by what you guessed their car. It was a nice car you recognized it as a Ford Mustang s550; the love for cars was actually the only good thing that came from your father. You also recognized the man standing next to it; it was the one who actually stayed silent during your short visit.

“I got your letter; I didn’t think that y-”

“Please, just go and forget that we exist,” you quickly said as you could hear your daughter slightly whimpering through the baby monitor you were holding in your hand.

“I don’t understand why you hate me so much, I would understand if you had actually tried to get to know me, but you based your opinion about me only by what you saw or read somewhere,” his voice was pleading rather than demanding and he felt as he was being torn and he never even met his daughter.

“No, I actually shouldn’t have any kind of opinion about you as we were never supposed to meet,” you responded after clearing your throat just trying to stand for a little longer. You could feel a slight discomfort in your lower abdomen where the wound was still slowly healing and you had to reach with your hand to steady yourself against the wall.

“I know that,” he said recognizing the look on your face that he knew too well. You were in pain and he knew it but he didn’t want to ask you again as you brushed him off the first time.

“Do you really? It doesn’t really seem like it.”

“I know that we had a bad start but I only wish to meet my daughter,” he spoke sincerely and with his last hopes, he wished that you would at least grant him to meet her.

“How many times do I have to tell you that she is not yours? She is my daughter, I take care of her and you are just a donor, alright?” you said harsher and louder than intending and it woke up your daughter, but it wasn’t the only thing it did. Your body was hurting more and you had to grit your teeth.

“I don’t want to be just that,” he felt a slight sting in the inside of his mouth on each side of his face as he was close to crying. However, he kept himself composed in front of you.

“Why are you so desperate? You are young you have time to have your own children so leave mine alone.” You quickly said and while he was trying to respond your hand already loosened letting the baby monitor drop to the ground.

“I don’….Are you alright?” He asked again as your body swayed slightly and before you could say anything your head hit in the side of the wall as your body fell to the ground. Ivar tried to stop you from falling as he let go of one of his crutches however he found himself falling next to you. Everything afterward happened so fast, Hvitserk was the one calling the ambulance while Ivar was trying to wake you up but he failed. After the ambulance came Hvitserk drove both of them to the hospital as well your daughter that fell asleep in the car seat which you always kept by the front door.

* * *

“She will be alright, I promise,” Ivar whispered to his daughter who was grabbing at his white button up which was covered with his child’s tears and saliva. He didn’t know what to do even after she stopped crying as he never even held a child in his arms before. He did have nephews but he was never really the one who would offer his brothers to watch or play with their kids. Of course, he did have his favorite nephew it was Ubbe’s kid who always liked to sit in his lap and who was a little too old for being carried around.

But as much as he didn’t know what to do he knew that he would never want to lose the feeling of his little daughter sleeping against his chest while her tiny fingers are gripping his shirt. And although everyone who knew him as a cold-hearted person would think that he is relieved that he was a step closer off taking her from you they would be wrong. Ivar couldn’t keep you away from his mind, not during all these weeks and let alone now. The doctors didn’t tell him anything since you were brought there an hour ago and he was starting to lose his mind. He was aware that he didn’t know you, but nobody knew how much he wanted to and it hurt him that you couldn’t see past his first bad impression and actually give him a chance. Nothing could be done to change how you felt about him; he couldn’t say or do anything.  Even your mother and sister looked him with pity when they came to the hospital after they were called as your emergency contacts. Your mother even let him hold his daughter for a bit longer as she knew well enough that the minute you open your eyes, you would want her by your side and him away from you.


	3. Chapter 3

Before you even opened your eyes you felt nauseous from the anesthetics. Your whole body was stiff however luckily there was no pain as you were still high on painkillers. However, no medication could take your mind away from your daughter, a little baby that was home alone if your mother hasn’t come back from work. And as if reading your mind the nurse that was checking on you was trying to tell you to calm down.

“Where is my baby?” you whispered as you looked around the room. It was a recovery room it wasn’t the same you stayed the last time however it was pretty much the same with the same dull gray walls.  

“Don’t worry love she is with her father,” the nurse responded too cheerfully for your liking.

You were ready to calm down when what she said hit you like a train, your daughter didn’t have a father. Your eyes widened in panic as you stared at her and only awful sceneries moved through your head and you almost but begged her to bring her to you. “No, please I need her,” you wanted to sit up but she stopped you with a smile still present on her face. She was assuming that you were still in the phase with your daughter when you can’t even leave your house without her.

“They are outside, she was crying so he took her out of the room so that she wouldn’t wake you up. One of the nurses gave him a bottle to feed her; she must be exhausted just like you.”

After her short speech, it finally clicked to you that indeed there was a man who was technically her father, but you couldn’t understand why he would stick around. Somehow he seemed to you as a person that would take this as an opportunity to show you as unfit to be a mother or anything like that and it surprised you he didn’t. It surprised you, even more, when you looked outside the window that was dividing your room and the small area where your daughter was held by her father. He was standing against the wall while slowly stroking her chubby cheeks and smiling down at her, you could even see her squeezing his thumb with her small fingers and it made you feel warm inside at least for a moment. Soon you remember that that man was the one who wanted to take her away from you.  

“I need her here,” you finally said to the nurse who was ready to leave.

“I will tell him to come back inside,” she was quick to say, but she stopped when you almost but shouted after her.

“No! Just her,” it was the last you said to her before she walked out.

* * *

Ivar was looking down at his beautiful daughter and he could see so much of himself in her as well of you too. She was perfect in his eyes and when she looked at him with her big blue orbs his heart melted. Hvitserk already teased him about it and he didn’t care because he would be glad to be like that with his daughter. He would give everything just to hold her a bit longer as she happily mumbles words that are close to sounding correct. But somehow after she woke up and started crying for her mother Ivar realized that he will never hear her calling him ‘dad’, he, although having a daughter will never really be a father. And at the moment he could only be angry at himself because of that. He wished that his personality was more like Hvitserk’s, if it was he was sure that you would let him be a part of your family, you would even maybe love him one day if he was more as his brother, but he wasn’t. His personality yet again made him lose something just as it did the day of the accident when he couldn’t stop fighting with his father. He didn’t just leave that hospital in the wheelchair as his nerves got messed up during the crush but he left it without his father who was driven straight to the morgue.

“She is awake,” the nurse said to Ivar bringing him back from his thoughts.

“Will she be alright?” he quickly asked before glancing to his little bundle of joy that was still repeating random words that she probably heard you say.

“Yes, she just needs to rest.”

Ivar smiled in relief, “that’s great.” He looked down at his daughter before talking to her. “Did you hear your mommy is awake?” at his words she was repeating the word ‘mommy’ and was making grabby hands towards your room.

“She wants this beautiful lady inside,” the nurse said afterwards before smiling to the little girl.

“I wil-”

“I’m sorry, but she only wants her daughter inside,” the nurse said somehow awkwardly as she didn’t know why you wouldn’t want him inside. She noticed the moment his face fell at her word as she didn’t know to him it meant that it was most likely the last time he was holding his daughter as you were adamant in keeping him away. The nurse also noticed when he collected himself back looking as if it didn’t bother him before giving his daughter to the nurse, of course not without kissing her forehead and whispering: “I love you.”

* * *

It’s been half an hour later since he gave his daughter away. Your mother and sister were with you while he stayed outside sitting in one of the chairs, an hour ago Hvitserk left as Ivar told him that he will stay and now he was alone. He didn’t even know what he was waiting, but he just couldn’t leave and he didn’t even know what was going on with you. As he wasn’t your family member or even your boyfriend he wasn’t told anything and he could only worry even more after his eyes saw his mother walking in the hallway. His eyes went wide and she only shook her head disapprovingly while coming towards him. Standing up he didn’t know what to say and he didn’t have to as she was the one who decided to speak first.

“What is with you boys that you constantly have to mess up?” Aslaug asked while keeping her hands in her suit pants and glaring at her youngest son already tired with their wrong life choices.

“I did it when I was younger,” Ivar admitted as it was actually something that he would never do however he and Ubbe lost a bet against Hvitserk and Sigurd. Ivar was barely eighteen at the time and Ubbe was already married. And when Ubbe’s wife found out about it she was mad at him and as they were already trying for a kid she refused to have sex with him and went to the sperm bank. The sperm bank was anonymous however there were donors pictures so she could choose her husband and she was lucky enough that nobody else did it before her. However soon after they did that Ivar ended up in a car accident and completely forgot about it until recently when his eldest brother Bjorn came to visit and teased him about having kids. To be honest, Ivar didn’t even know that they keep sperm for a long time he never really researched that, but he thought that it couldn’t be more than a year; after all everything has a date of expiration and he was wrong as he was 25 now.  

“I’m not talking about that Ivar, but the way you acted. I want to know my granddaughter and because of you I maybe never will,” she looked down at him as his shoulders were slightly slumped and he avoided her eyes feeling ashamed of himself.

“Why are you sad about it, you slapped Sigurd when he told you he will be a father?” Ivar finally asked wanting to move the conversation from himself as he was well aware of his mistakes.

“Don’t get me started on that. All of you boys are idiots, fucking with that stupid girl; she only wanted you for your last name. Are you all that stupid to not see that, first she dated Ubbe and constantly insisted on children and when he finally broke up with her she went to Hvitserk, and then after to Sigurd, she even messed with you and you were still in high school. At least Ubbe found himself a nice woman and married her and I was happy for him and then Sigurd told me he knocked up that girl, he was lucky that I only slapped him. That baby will be welcomed into the family but its mother won’t and if he decides to marry her I will disown him.” Aslaug said as if it was a well-known fact and not a mother talking about her son. She loved her sons and she only wanted the best for them she never cared about the status of a girl they dated, but her personality and what they wanted from her sons. She was protective even when Ragnar was alive however after he died she was determined to protect them in any way she could although all of them were older than 18.

“And why do you think that I messed up?” Ivar asked swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Because the woman that is lying in that room, she is perfect for you. I heard what she did, she is fearless and strong and protective over her child and she told you to fuck off, nobody tells you that Ivar. And she is not interested in your money; she even refused when you offered alimony. She is so young and I didn’t even meet her and I like her so fix that shit or I will fix it for you.” Aslaug warned him, she didn’t know anything more about you than what Hvitserk and Bjorn told her.

“Mother, I can’t fix what I did,” his voice sounded broken and it made him look so small.

“I love you son, but sometimes you are just oblivious,” she exhaled before approaching him. “You made her think that you will take her daughter away from her,” Aslaug said before pushing a few fallen strands away from his face. “You could only imagine what would happen if somebody tried to take you boys away from me.”

“You know that I wouldn’t do that,” he quickly responded, suddenly feeling disgusted by his own actions.

”But she doesn’t, I will talk to her,” Aslaug said before kissing his forehead and heading to your room. 


	4. Chapter 4

You were still tired; it wasn’t the sun that was bothering you, but your daughter’s father. You didn’t know what to do as your father wasn’t the best person and he abandoned you so you were always scared of letting people in, as the same as they walked in they could walk out. Your mother told you that it is not always like that; even your sister was on your mother’s side. However, you knew that the father is not vital in the life of a child for it to grow up happily. You sometimes wished you have never met your father that it was only your mother, your sister and you, but it wasn’t. And all that was happening made you wonder why would he even want your daughter, he was young, so he had time to have children so why would he want a child from a woman he never met before? You couldn’t let him be a part of your daughter’s life and then for him to walk out, it would be harder for her if that happens than to never have a father.   

 

“Hello,” Aslaug said after walking into your room.

Your mother and sister were quick to stand up and to meet the woman that was standing at the door.

“I’m Aslaug, Ivar’s mother. I would just like to talk to your daughter privately that’s all,” she said to your mother before looking at you.

“Alright,” you said surprising both your mother and sister.

You observed Aslaug for a moment as she sat on the chair beside your bed. Your head was slightly lifted from the bed as the nurse helped you to put a pillow behind your back so that you could sit as you were holding your daughter who was sleeping against your chest.

“I want to apologize for the way my son acted. He just can be rash sometimes. Ivar can’t really control himself, his anger. He wasn’t always like that, he used to be shy and as the youngest boy, he didn’t really get noticed easily. He was always on the side and after he was in an accident with his father, his legs were completely crashed and we didn’t know if he will ever walk, but he does. However every step he makes has a price, he is constantly in pain.” Aslaug explained with a sad smile gracing her red painted lips.

“I don’t know why you are telling me that,” you said honestly. If she was trying to make you feel sorry for him she wasn’t really doing a great job as you also had a sad story yourself. And during life you learned not to pity yourself or others and that whatever happens it’s a part of your life and you can’t change it.

“When he came from the hospital, everybody stared at him and pitied him and from then on he completely isolated himself from people. He wants to meet your daughter because he is assured that he won’t have any children. He thinks that nobody could love him. I understand that you probably have someone or will be with someone and that you will have more babies but he sees th-”

“I won’t,” you said harshly. You weren’t intending to sound that way however you were mad at your body.

“You are young; I thought the same, I on-” Aslaug was again trying to reason with you however just like Ivar she didn’t know the reason why you have chosen to have a child at such a young age and it didn’t really cross Aslaug’s mind to question it.

“I don’t have a uterus anymore; they removed it a few days ago.  I didn’t want to stay long in hospital afraid that Ivar will take her from me than, so I left hospital earlier than I was supposed to do.”

“I am so sorry, is that why you took a sperm donor at such a young age?” Aslaug asked curiously although she knew that she was stepping over the line, she just wanted to get to know you.

“It was the only way; college could wait if I ever decide to go back, and my cancer didn’t want to, so I had to do it.” While you spoke your palm moved over your daughters back not even noticing, but it was one way of getting comfort from her.

“I am really sorry for everything that happened to you. Is it alright to ask when you found out?” Aslaug asked and she would be honest if she said that she respects you more now than when she walked in. In her eyes, you weren’t some child rushing into things, but a mature young woman who did what she thought was the best.

“I was eighteen, just about to leave for college, but I wanted to make sure that everything was alright with me because of my families’ medical history. So my gynecologist told me that I had ovarian cancer, my grandmother had it; hopefully, it was from my father’s side so my sister was safe as we didn’t have the same father. After some more exams he said that it will probably completely spread in an around three to four years it wasn’t looking good, my grandma died ‘cause of it, and I had to make a decision. It was radiation or surgery to make sure it’s gone, there was a possibility of it returning after radiation even more aggressively. I never really thought about kids before, I didn’t think that I will ever want them but when I found out I just…”

“You got the feeling, I understand. I actually had that feeling when I got pregnant with my first son.” Aslaug said after wiping a tear from her eye. She couldn’t imagine herself in your position as she wouldn’t even know what to do.

“I made my decision four months later; I decided to finish the year, however, to also immediately try to get pregnant, it was already risky, but I had to do it. My mom and sister borrowed me money and I took all of my savings and I went to the sperm bank. I had money for only one try.”

“Why did you choose my son?” Aslaug asked as she wasn’t really aware of what exactly where you told or shown about her son to actually chose him.

“Every sperm bank is kind of different, there was some vague information about him, and also answers to some questions in general. I chose him because of what he wrote; everyone was writing the same thing, had similar answers and he was different. He sounded intelligent and good with words and a little bit lonesome. I just thought that I would like for my kid to be different and not some creep with an enormous ego and also his eyes were only a bonus. It seems I chose exactly what I didn’t want,” you said smiling for the first time and Aslaug laughed at what you said before smiling sadly as she remembered from whom he has gotten his eyes from.

“He has his father’s eyes, all of the boys do.”

“My daughter has the same,” you said looking down at your baby that was still sleeping while wrapped in her soft blue blanket that had cookies on it and was hiding her cookie monster onesies.

“I know that Ivar offered you money, and I understand you were offended with it, but he was just trying to help.”

“I have money, I work at the bank as a mangers assistant, and my sister is that manager and my mom works as an interior designer. We have enough for our needs.” You quickly said as there was a need for you to let her know that.

“He had a wrong start with you and I would really like to get to know you and my granddaughter but I will understand if that is something that you wouldn’t want. We will give you time, I will make sure that Ivar doesn’t bother you anymore and if you will ever feel like reaching out I will be there. Now you have to rest and I hope that you get well soon,” she said before kissing your forehead which surprised you and kissing your daughters cheek before leaving.

* * *

The second she walked out Ivar was in front of her eager to hear what you said, however seeing the look on his mother’s face made him feel defeated.  “What did she say?” he quickly asked not able to stand the silence.

“Give her time, son. If she decides that she wants you in her daughter’s life she will let you know,” she said placing her palm on his shoulder and he tensed under her touch.

“And what if she doesn’t?” he asked with his voice breaking at the end. He glanced towards your room, but he couldn’t see inside as the curtains were pulled.

“You can’t and won’t do anything about it. Don’t mess with her life, if she doesn’t want you, that is her decision and you will have to respect it. I will go say my goodbyes to her mother and sister and then I will wait for you in the car.” Aslaug said sternly although it hurt her to see her son like that, however, she knew that he has to be aware that all of this were consequences of his rash behavior.


End file.
